normalcy is coursing through my veins
Saturday, March 31, 2001
If you haven't read Banana Yoshimoto's 'Kitchen' yet, do so immediately. I forget about it for a little while and then it comes up in the middle of conversation somehow. Today it was in relation to a discussion of Cibo Matto's music. And how attitudes toward food in America differ so much from those in other countries.

I want someone to pay me to sit around and think/talk about books all day. Funny how you would think maybe publishing would at least allow for some of that, but it doesn't. I have an interview with a different publisher on Monday. I fear getting too excited about this opportunity, but I think I really might want this...I think lately there have been a lot of things that could potentially be exciting that I just won't allow myself to enjoy for fear of being horribly disappointed. It's some sort of advance damage control, I suppose, but it leads to a rather disturbing indifference. It leaves me sitting around waiting for something to move me. And that's where 'Kitchen' comes in.

I went to see Amores Perros with Susie-q and Stewy last night. It is definitely worth seeing. 'Raw' is the word that comes to mind. Afterwards there was champagne (Susie's) and Italian food at a place whose name I have already forgotten. And then sleep, lots of sleep. It never ceases to amaze me how much better I feel when I have finally gotten a full night's sleep. I can wander around for a week, a miserable mess, trying to figure out what the hell is wrong. And then, after ten hours of sleep uninterrupted by anticipation of the alarm, the world is a new place...even if it is still overcast, sigh.

Friday, March 30, 2001
Oh yeah, by the way, you can write to me.

I just noticed that I have been posting things to here that are actually real sentences, with capitalization and everything. That is very unlike me, usually I can't be bothered. I guess it's good practice though.

Def Rog and I just ate a lot of Indian food. When they delivered it, they gave us five plates, sort of implying that there was enough food for five people. But there were only two of us. Hmmmm....no wonder I'm so stuffed.

It is raining again today. I have no umbrella. I lose umbrellas. And gloves. I leave them in cabs or underneath subway seats. I am not careful. Unless they belong to someone else--then I can hold on to them for a while. I am always more cautious with other people's things than I am with my own. So I think maybe I should just perpetually borrow them, and that way I would be all set.

It's funny, people in New York treat umbrellas as disposable. Men sell them on street corners in the rain, umbrella-less themselves, sopping wet. A few dollars here or there, whatever color is available, no commitment. After work, I am positive I will find the sidewalks littered with their broken remains, casualties of high wind or over-usage. There will be garbage cans stuffed with them. They will look like bouquets.

So I dragged myself to the show last night. I wasn't feeling at all up to going, so I forced myself to get all dolled up (complete with sparkly bracelets, glittery makeup, and eyeliner) in order to motivate...and I am so glad I went. Le tigre was amazing live, and I danced a lot, which, despite my exhaustion, actually made me feel much better. The show made me want to be in a girl band. This happens with me. Of course, there's the fact that I don't really play any instruments well enough, but that's really only a minor setback.

Thursday, March 29, 2001
I have nothing witty to say today. I am feeling sick and sad. I should be really excited about the show tonight and all I want to do is curl up in a ball under my comforter. I have no idea what is wrong with me...Susie-q just called to say hello, which was nice of her, but I wasn't doing such a good job holding up my end of conversation. I think I need to go home and nap now, possibly until tomorrow.

Wednesday, March 28, 2001
Today has been another one of those days. Unlike yesterday, however, there was at least a chance to eat. I have been doing things so quickly I don't remember them immediately after. When questioned, I have to just nod and assume that it all went out okay. Thankfully, Def Rog is here. Otherwise, I might completely lose it even more often than I already do. And speaking of Def Rog, I have to go help him cram photocopies into binders. Aren't you jealous? I didn't think so...

Tuesday, March 27, 2001
I heart Le Tigre! I keep listening to them on repeat in order to motivate myself. And I am going to see them on Thursday, yay! Today I am feeling a little like I don't have anything interesting enough to say to put on here, so I'll shut up now.

Monday, March 26, 2001
Last night was an Oscar party, which was fun. But then there were no cars (who knew so many people would be Oscar partying and then needing to get home?) and I sat in the living room reading Interview magazine and waiting...and waiting...There was not enough sleep and now I am tired and trying frantically to care about the collection of email addresses for reviewing project #902. It's not working.

I meant to add more to the entry from Friday, but then there was IKEA. I have shelves!! (although not the shelves I went looking for, but such is the way with that place). I sometimes worry about how excited I get about buying household stuff. Kitchen things are the worst---big bowls and small plates, those are my favorites. I could have carried home armfuls, but luckily leeep was there to keep my shopping impulses in check. So I returned with only the necessities. Now I just have to get around to rearranging my room...

Friday, March 23, 2001
It's sunny today. I think I got a little too excited about it this morning. After saying yesterday that the 80s should never come back into fashion, today I feel like I am the poster child.

Thursday, March 22, 2001
I am here way too late. Again. At least the building is not swaying like yesterday. It was so bad that doors were swinging open and closed and the elevators were grinding against concrete. Later, at home, while talking to my roommate, he noticed I was rocking back and forth a little, still trying to steady myself. It was funny. But that was yesterday. I think yesterday and today have gotten all mixed up because the rain has not stopped. And speaking of, it's time to go out in it now....

So I have done absolutely nothing work-related at work today. Well, except one thing, and I f-ed that all up. But I don't feel so bad. My co-worker just informed me that my boss is asleep at her desk. Sound asleep. Snoring even. With the door open for everyone to see. That just makes my day :)

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