normalcy is coursing through my veins
Wednesday, October 31, 2001
With perfect timing, my roommate just called me up to tell me he has rented scary movies for us to watch tonight before I head out to the city with friends (we're going to see Lee play with this band at KGB bar, if you want to join us). Scary movies remind me of the one slumber party I was ever allowed to have at my house. After years of pleading, my mother finally agreed to let me have a sleepover party. It was the first and last, mostly due to the fact that we tortured Jennifer Chandler by forcing her to watch one of the 'Nightmare on Elm Street' films (although perhaps 'watch' is not quite the right word, as she spent most of the movie with her hands covering her eyes, just barely peeking through) and then waited until she was almost asleep and started whispering things like 'Freddy's going to get you' at her in the dark. Needless to say, my mother was less than enthused when, at four in the morning, a shaking Jennifer with a blanket pulled tightly around her person knocked on my parents' bedroom door and begged to be taken home. Perhaps this also goes without saying, but I was not invited to Jennifer's slumber party two months later.

Always up for a little procrastination, I followed a link for 'Top Ten Scariest Movies' from the hotmail logout screen, and then discovered this lovely little tidbit of procrastinatory reading. Have I mentioned I like lists?

Question: Why is 'The Exorcist' number one on all of the scary movie lists out there? Not that it's not creepy, but 'The Shining' and the first 'Nightmare on Elm Street' are way creepier.

Whenever I type 'blogspot' in an email, the Outlook spell-check tries to change it to 'bloodspot.' This makes me laugh every time, without fail.

Last night there was no 'Undeclared' to be watched. Instead, there was the World Series. Baseball is not a suitable substitute for funny college antics.

Tuesday, October 30, 2001
I can't believe the reviews 'Waking Life' has been getting. People seem to like it, but I literally fell asleep, it was so boring.

It's my birthday this Saturday. Buy me presents?

Some suggestions:
these shoes (in 'cocoa')
this shirt (size medium)
this sweater (in blue)
this fragrance (in 'gentle rain' or 'tomato')

Am I allowed to say what I said about Business Week? Could they sue me or something? Not if it's true, right?

Reasons my good mood is rapidly fading (in no particular order):
My lunch was not very good, despite the fact that it looked like it would be
The man sitting next to me on the train this morning smelled like beer and urine
The permissions people at Business Week won't return my phone calls
I still haven't fixed my cell phone issue
Several of my friends are flaking out, freaking out, and/or bailing on me
There are no cookies
The people who work at the pharmacy at the nearest Duane Reade are idiots

Monday, October 29, 2001
Why why why does Sprint PCS suck so badly? First, I paid last month's bill online, then got an invoice saying it was a month late. Then I tried to access my account online and the website keeps giving me an error message. So finally I tried to call their 'customer care' toll-free number ('customer care,' my ass...more like customer torture). After 15:04 minutes of dead air hold, I hung up (yes, my phone has the little clock that tells me exactly how long I've been on hold, ticking away each second of my life wasted). Now, I just tried to call again. This time a friendly pre-recorded voice said, "Please hold while we connect your call." Then another friendly pre-recorded voice said, "For quality and training purposes, this call may be monitored and recorded." I got excited, as this little message is usually a sure sign that I am about to be allowed to speak with a real, live human being. Except then the transfer went wrong and I got one of those really fast busy signals. Then it hung up on me. I don't think I can bear trying a third time today...but then they'll shut off my service like the last time they screwed something up and blamed me. Please don't ever ever get a cell phone that uses Sprint, I beg you.

Should I be at all concerned that my new tights smell sort of weirdly like the smoke from the burning WTC site?

Check out 'the new topography' for its much-anticipated most-hated songs list. You will not be disappointed.

Friday, October 26, 2001
Okay, today someone got to my site by searching for 'my vagina'...I am again perplexed. If you don't know that you're not going to find it online, you're in trouble, I think.

'Sometimes I wish that I could stop you from talking
when I hear the silly things that you say'

There is Elvis Costello on the speakers today. There is live Elvis Costello at the Beacon Theatre November 7th, but I will not be there. I just found out about it today and it is sold out. Probably for the better, as tickets were pricey...but still...sigh.

Thursday, October 25, 2001
I am going to see John Hodgman and Amy Fussleman at this event later this evening. Would you like to come along?

There was a David Byrne show last night at the Bowery Ballroom and I was there. It was great. Well, except for that one part where the special guest guy who came on to rap with them got a little carried away. Otherwise, it was amazing. I mean, he played a cover of Whitney Houston's 'I Wanna Dance with Somebody'! And he played 'And She Was,' which was pretty much my unofficial theme song in high school. Everyone knew how obsessed I was with it. And David Byrne is just the cutest man ever. He does this dorky little dance thing that just makes me giggle like I'm twelve. Tee hee. (See, like that). We danced a lot. I got home late, but still feel energized. Woo-hoo!

Wednesday, October 24, 2001
Ohmigod, if I see one more trailer/banner ad/pop-up ad for K-Pax, I'm going to scream. They're everywhere. And they're terrible. I mean, Kevin Spacey's really gone downhill since his Usual Suspects days.

Tuesday, October 23, 2001
Today there has been photo-hanging. After a massive office (er, desk) cleaning effort on Friday (which resulted in the satisfactory feeling of organization, but also the disagreeable feeling of sterility), I decided I needed to add some personal touches to my gray walls. Yes, I do realize this is one of the first symptoms of middle age. But fear not, I promise not to start showing family photos to strangers on buses just yet. Besides, these are fun pictures. Pictures from parties and from photo booths. Pictures where people make funny faces. Pictures where people look away intentionally in the hopes of appearing nonchalant, but I know better. I will look up from my massive stack of book reviews and smile at them, and they will smile back. Or stick their tongues out. And I will chuckle to myself, while someone tells me (again) that I am "crazy...but in a good way."

Actual conversation that took place yesterday on the subway between me and Big Gross Old Guy, after a tiny woman got up from the seat next to me:

BGOG (looking at the empty seat, realizing that he won't fit in that space, and then looking at me): "Hey, couldn't you cross your legs or somethin'...y'know, so I could sit down?"
Me (glaring and thinking that me crossing my legs really isn't going to help his fat ass fit in that seat): "Why don't you cross your legs if you want to sit?"
BGOG: "But you're a girl...If I cross my legs, I look like a faggot."
Me (moving to take up even more space): "Well, I guess you'll just have to stand then."
BGOG: (mutters unintelligible profanities and walks further down the subway car)

Tee hee, I have a new favorite word:
testudinate (te-STOOD-in-ayt) adjective, also testudinal or testudinarian
1. Slow-moving, like a turtle.
2. Curved like the carapace (shell) of a turtle; vaulted.

Monday, October 22, 2001
From Sour, who recently had a dinner date with a boy who wanted them to cook together:
"Now why would I live in the greatest take-out city in the world if I wanted to stuff my own grape leaves?"

Ha, yesterday someone got to my site by searching for "beautiful feet veins." Is there such a thing? Sorry, Mr./Ms. foot fetishist, no beautiful feet veins here...

We just had a fire drill. But they didn't make us go outside like they used to when I was in elementary school. As I remember it, they always seemed to pick the coldest day in the middle of February to have fire drills. It was never a beautiful spring day when you actually wanted to be outside. No, it was always freezing, and then inevitably in the middle of gym class, so that you were all hot and sweaty and suddenly forced to stand outside, jacketless and shivering. They were cruel, those elementary school principals...

'All the boys with the digi cameras
push to the front and then they just stand there'

Ah, the new Le Tigre is so so good...

Friday, October 19, 2001
I am having one of those days where I wonder whether I am actually cut out to have a job. I just cannot concentrate on anything. I'm not kidding, I have done two productive things all day: I faxed something and then I mailed something. What is my problem?

I continue to be amazed at how quizzes and forwards just start getting sent to everyone I know at the same time. I got this BeliefNet quiz this morning and then I was making my usual blog-reading rounds and it was posted everywhere. Alright, I'll play along and post mine too (although I think the quiz is a little ridiculous--I mean, really, Christian Science is higher on the list than Atheism & Agnosticism....). Oh, and in case anyone is interested, I was raised entirely secularly, which led to a fascination with visiting the churches and synagogues my friends attended. I was probably the only 10-year-old on earth to be excited about going to Sunday school after a Saturday night sleepover.

Unitarian Universalism (100%)
Liberal Quaker (91%)
Liberal Protestant (91%)
Neo-Paganism (84%)
Secular Humanism (81%)
New Age (81%)
Theravada Buddhism (73%)
Mahayana Buddhism (66%)
Bahá'í (62%)
Reform Judaism (61%)
Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (59%)
Taoism (56%)
New Thought (56%)
Scientology (52%)
Atheism and Agnosticism (51%)
Orthodox Quaker (45%)
Jainism (43%)
Latter-day Saint (Mormon) (39%)
Sikhism (39%)
Conservative Protestant (34%)
Hinduism (32%)
Orthodox Judaism (30%)
Jehovah's Witness (29%)
Islam (24%)
Seventh Day Adventist (21%)
Eastern Orthodox (13%)
Roman Catholic (13%)

Mary and I went out for Chinese. I am now stuffed full of hot & sour soup (the real kind, thank you very much) and mock sesame chicken. What my fortune cookie said: 'Love truth, but forgive error.' Nice message, but not a fortune. I think they're only actually fortunes about ten percent of the time. The rest of the time they're just advice or commentaries upon personality.

Do you think there are people whose job it is to write fortune cookie fortunes? Or is there just a database of fortunes somewhere that they get printed out from? If there is, it must be gigantic, because as far as I can remember I've never gotten the same fortune twice. And I've eaten a lot of Chinese food in my short life.

Thursday, October 18, 2001
Send Jeff your captions. Now. Go on, what are you waiting for?

I am so looking forward to getting paid tomorrow. Yesterday, I was wandering around with 2 dollars in my pocket, knowing that I had to spend it wisely because there would be no more money until Friday. (note: wisely = on pizza). Then I came home and there was a card with a check waiting for me. My grandmother does this, sends checks sometimes. I've noticed that they often come after bad events. I got one immediately following the disasters. And then this one after my mom had mentioned to her that I was not feeling well. I think this is sort of funny, the idea that checks are somehow soothing. I mean, I guess they are, but it's still strange.

My whole family is crazy. This past weekend I got a phone call from my father, who has called me on his own (as in, my mom didn't call and then put him on) only twice since I graduated from high school and moved out. We made small talk for a while, exchanged stories of what was going on in our lives. We talked about transportation in the wake of the disaster, as he wanted to know how it was affected. (There is nothing my father loves better than to talk about planning routes. The best thing you can say to him is that you need to figure out how to get somewhere. He'll have the atlas out in seconds, muttering about mileage and scenery and the like. It's cute.) Anyway, then he tells me that he has also called to tell me he loves me, just in case anything happens. Whoa, that is so unlike my father, I can't even express. I feel a little like it must be a sign of impending doom. Still, it was sweet.

Then, there was the fact that during the conversation with my parents, I asked how my younger brother, who has been living with them for the past couple of years, was doing. They said 'fine,' and told me a little about job stuff. Then, two nights later, I get a call on my cell from an unfamiliar number, and it's my brother (who, I might note, has NEVER called me since I moved to New York). When I ask him where he's calling from, he says 'home.' And I say, 'This isn't mom and dad's number.' And he says 'Oh yeah, I moved out...almost two months ago.' Now, you'd think that my parents might have mentioned that in passing, but no.

Crazy, I tell you. And you wonder where I get it from.

I just handed in a transmittal to production, and on the way out of the office, I walked smack into the wall. Actually, I guess it was technically the doorway. Yes, I turned around quickly, but there was a good deal of space between where I was standing and the door. Hello, out of it much? I hit my wrist hard enough that it will probably bruise. And then people will ask, and I will have to admit that I sometimes lose all sense of spacial perception. I guess it could be worse, like my forehead could have hit first...but still.

Wednesday, October 17, 2001
I have been giggling to myself off and on all day about jomo. If you don't know what I'm talking about, ask Lee. He might tell you, if he can get through the sentences without laughing.

Fact: I like cheese.
Fact: Dairy makes my stomach hurt.

friend: Well, you can always eat soy cheese, most of it is pretty good.
me (sadly): Yeah, but there's no such thing as soy brie.

Tuesday, October 16, 2001
I am eating hot & sour soup. Usually, this is one of my favorite things. But the kind I am eating is one of those soup cup kinds and not the real deal. It tastes oddly like the coating on Kentucky Fried Chicken. Hmmn, I thought that was a secret recipe....

Monday, October 15, 2001
Please forgive the lack of posts, I have been sick. I have also been asleep. For days, I feel like. With occasional interruptions to visit with Stewy (who is in town from Chicago) and to come into work on a Sunday afternoon (my punishment for taking a sick day Friday) and to stop by this store to visit with Lee (who gave me stickers).

The number of MS Outlook reminder alarms going off is truly frightening. The fact that I hit snooze each time one pops up is worse. I think it's funny that I can 'snooze' on my work-related tasks. Well, sort of funny. If only they didn't come back....

Thursday, October 11, 2001
As I said to Amy, this site is damn near perfect. It allows me to document the words I am constantly inventing, and it offers yet another outlet for my procrastinatory desires. Heavenly. Check it out.

My throat hurts. Make me tea?

Wednesday, October 10, 2001
Ha, my co-worker literally just walked past me and said, "Those are great boots!" Perhaps she has not noticed my groans of pain while walking.

I am wearing boots with three-inch heels today. They make me Amazon tall, which, granted, is not so hard to do, given that I'm almost 5'9" to begin with. I don't mind being Amazon tall (in fact, I kind of like it--it gives a much-needed change in perspective, everyone should wear giant heels every once in a while, I think), but I do mind wearing uncomfortable shoes. I had forgotten exactly how not-comfy these boots are, as they had been sitting in the bottom of my closet since last year. They suck. My ankles hurt and my toes are cramped. These were one of those spur-of-the-moment purchases that should never have happened, bought on the way to a holiday party I was not properly dressed for. But now, I feel obligated to put them on every once in a while, to justify the money spent. I think I have worn them three times total before today. Perhaps it is time to give up and give them to some thrift store somewhere that will sell them for a ridiculous amount....sigh.

I forgot to mention my fun celebrity sighting this weekend. I was standing behind John Turturro in line at the grocery store in Park Slope. No, I didn't talk to him. I just smiled. He was buying chocolate cake mix, vanilla frosting, and a tin of Cafe Bustelo coffee. I smiled again. M wondered if we should say anything, but then some annoying man came by and did that friendly-punch-in-the-shoulder thing and said "Hey John!" as if they were old friends, which they clearly were not. I never want to be that guy, that's why I don't talk to famous people. And that's my story....

The soundtrack has (finally) been updated. You'll have to forgive me, I've been busy.

Tuesday, October 09, 2001
My friend wrote this. She sent me the link with the following subject heading: 'penis anyone?' This made me laugh.

Monday, October 08, 2001
I just got email from the lovely folks who I make student loan payments to. Seems that I have been granted an 'administrative forbearance' on my loans until February 2002, because I live in a New York City borough. Since my current loan payment is two weeks late, this is sort of good news. However, it is also just a little bit strange, as I have not been financially affected by the disaster in any way (the late payment is simply a result of my fiscal irresponsibility). It is also a big temptation to just not pay anything until February, which would not be smart at all. No, not at all....

Headline on the cover of the New York Post today: 'Tali-Bam!' Could they get any more tasteless? I didn't think so.

This weekend was great. Friday there was Bjork at Radio City. It was lovely, the first half all quiet new stuff and the second half old favorites. After comparing notes with friends who attended Thursday's show, I have come to the conclusion that she did pretty much the same songs both nights, with the exception of 'Human Behavior,' which was the last song she played on my night.

(Sadly, Liz, I did not get to present her with pink cupcakes...although I did buy a bright pink t-shirt, does that count?)

Saturday was 'Mulholland Drive' at the New York Film Festival. I somehow had amazing seats (thanks to the neurotic man who sold me a ticket while I was waiting in line). The movie was great. David Lynch and cast were there for a Q&A afterward. And the sweet boy sitting next to me shared his KitKat. What else could a girl ask for?

(Oh, and Jeff, you'll be pleased to know that both events had velour-covered seats. Be very jealous.)

Sometimes the junk mail that gets sent to my hotmail account makes me laugh. Today I got a message with the subject heading 'YOUR COCK SCARING PEOPLE!' Ha, is this an advertisement? (as in, 'You too can scare people, click here to find out how') Or just a statement? (like 'Hey, just wanted to let you know you're scaring people'). I didn't open the message to find out.

Back at my old job, I was on MSN Instant Messenger all day. When you are signed on to IM, a little box pops up in the bottom left corner when you have new mail, telling you who it's from. Try explaining to your really old boss, who doesn't really understand computers, and who happens to be looking at something on your screen when the alert comes up, why you're getting mail from 'Hot n' Horny Heather.'

(And yes, I know I'm asking for it by writing this post. I can only imagine the Google searches that will now bring up my site).

Friday, October 05, 2001
Ohmigod, Le Tigre's new album comes out October 10th! This news has brightened my otherwise not-so-great day. (Hi, who forgot to send the messenger to pick up her boss's very important package? Oh yeah, that would be me.)

Tonight is Bjork!!!!!

My friend Scott uses her name as a verb, as in "I am Bjorking right now." It can mean either being in the process of listening to her music or being strange in the most endearing of ways.

Bjork, Bjork, Bjork.

*spins around in desk chair, while co-worker laughs*

Thursday, October 04, 2001
The work, it is neverending. The posting, it is sparse.

But the cupcakes are yummy. You can ask Liz if you don't believe me. (And say happy birthday to her while you're at it).

Wednesday, October 03, 2001
There will be little posting today. I am, inexplicably, in a horrible mood. You don't want to hear from me, trust me.

Tuesday, October 02, 2001
Okay, let's talk for just one second about how excited I am for the 2-hour season premiere of Buffy tonight. Woo-hoo!

Ever since I posted that entry about the gas masks and stuff, I keep getting visitors who have found my site via a search for anthrax/Cipro/etc. I'm not surprised that my site shows up, as it does contain those words, but I am surprised that it shows up in the top ten sites or so. Same with searches for Jackie O. Surely I can't be one of the definitive sources of information on these can someone explain to me how the search engine listing game works? I am perplexed.

Monday, October 01, 2001
I have new shoes. They are great. It is a rare thing indeed for shoes to be immediately comfortable. Usually, there is a breaking-in period during which one's feet are subjected to rubbing and stiffness and all sorts of other horrors. Not so with the wonder that is a pair of Dansko shoes. I bought a pair of their clogs a couple of years ago and wore them more than any person should ever wear clogs. And now they have started making other kinds of shoes as well! Boots even! This is so exciting, I may never buy shoes from another company again.

Funny side note: The shoes I bought are black loafer-type shoes. I was wearing white athletic socks when I tried them on, leading to a Michael-Jackson-esque effect that prompted me to mock-moonwalk in the shoe store. Yes, I am a giant dork.

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